I was at the gym today watching TV while I completed todays HIIT and up came a mention about always needing to be right. That got me to thinking about writing a post because truthfully, there is NOTHING to be gained by always being right.
Here are several ways to recognize if you have this problem.
- You always have to have the last word
- You get defensive when someone disagrees with you
- You cannot accept someone with a differing opinion about anything
- You continue to talk long after the other person has stopped
- You often argue without listening to the other person
- You feel flushed and upset when you are questioned or confronted
- You talk louder and louder when the other person just doesn’t get it
- You have the same argument, with the same person, over and over
So how do you fix it?
Ask yourself this question. What do you get when you are right? In other words, is there a benefit to being right? In my opinion and most experts, when you are a right-fighter all you ever get is disdain, disrespect and you cause other people distress. That really does not sound like anyway to live. Being right is absolutely overrated.
I’d rather be happy, than right!
If you are trying to break this bad habit here are some suggestions….
- Take deep breaths until the feeling of desperation passes
- Give the other person a hug and do not continue the discussion
- Ask them questions about how they feel and why they have the opinion they do
- Tell a joke, laughter makes anger impossible
- Recognize that anger, blame and intimidation are ineffective when trying to convince someone you are right
- Learn how to say, “I don’t know” and leave it at that
You need to realize that you just might be wrong and that your insistence that you are right will simply alienate those around you. When you dismiss the feeling of safety that being right gives you, you will have a greater understanding of yourself. Your self esteem just may improve when you accept that you may be wrong and you work through those negative feelings. When you recognize the needs and wants of others, it increases the closeness between you.
The need to be right is a very stressful position to be in. Imagine how relaxed and peaceful you can feel when you give up the need to be right.
22 Oct 2014